don't even bother asking me a) why I blog about this stuff or b) what I think it all might mean... I have no idea.
Suffice to say, at 5:00 this morning I woke up. I had been dreaming. I forced myself to wake up. It was already a very strange dream about implants.
Straight metal needle inserted liberally into the right carotid, but then it 'clunked' as it found a spot somewhere up the complex canal of the artery. Was this inside the brain? Had it self-guided and located? The doctor was very comforting, explaining how one might feel a little discomfort. And he was right. But it was bearable.
Then the second implant. Cant' remember if it was also with needle up carotid but this one smelled funny, like he was altering pathways of scent. All the time the doctor is explaining, with increasing levels of pain description how it would feel. Yep, it felt uncomfortable.
Then the cranial insertions started. Through the skull with the living needle. All on the right side of the head. From back to front on that lobe. The patient is alive and aware and crying after third insertion. The doctor still sympathetic, if purely practical. The fourth needs more of a push and slams into place somewhere in the brain like a balljoint into a socket. The fifth...
Now, this is where it gets unbearable. The fifth insertion, pre-inserted onto the skull, is short and stubby like a bullet. I know that if that goes in any further it's going to destroy everything. The doctor shows the HAMMER he's going to use to activate it. I just wake up... can't remember if I was the patient or the doctor.